Progress By Me

"Oh I'm awful at names, but I'm great with faces."  How many times have you heard or said this? Most of us do. We are all awful at remembering each other's names, and yet, it seems like that shouldn't be the case. Why are we so bad at remembering names? And once you know someone for a while, you learn people's names pretty easily. So why is it so tough for so many of us to keep hold of this vital piece of information?

I often like to talk about this new career I'm in, Fire EMS, as being a soldier of Order. That is, my enemy is not the Taliban, or thieves, killers, ideological enemies. My enemy is entropy, Chaos. And while that is doubly true in my work, it's also true in my daily life. Because so tight is my schedule, and I suspect for many other people as well, that I literally can't afford to let entropy get ahead of me.

I'm on vacation in the great Adirondack Mountains in upstate New York. It's the biggest state park in the United States at just under 6 Million acres, and it's gorgeous. It's full of rolling mountains, babbling brooks, placid lakes, serene views and a little peace and quiet. It's the first real vacation my wife and I have been on since our honeymoon. Truth is we still haven't been on a real vacation on our own since we've been married (my brother and his wife came along to the ski trip honeymoon - to be fair, they were going first and we decided to tag along, but that's a story for another time).

Yesterday I ran with a friend. He's in way better shape than me, so the prospect of running with him was intimidating. Truth is, his body appears to be in better shape, but cardiovascularly speaking, I turned out to be ahead of him by a long shot. We only ran 1.8 miles, and that was the farthest he could manage. We took a couple breaks along the way, and afterwards I compared our pulses after about 5 minutes of cooldown. I was still up at 125 BPM, but he was 140. That's significant, and it's an indicator of my overall health. I'm not the fittest guy ever, but it sure doesn't hurt to win once in a while.

Losing weight isn't easy. I tell you this from experience. I've lost weight, gained weight, stayed just about the same weight... If you struggle with weight loss, I feel your pain, and I've been there! But before you go sign yourself up for Fat Camp, or worse, schedule a stomach staple surgery (ew!) or even liposuction, consider this. Weight loss really shouldn't be complicated. There are plenty of people who manage to stay thin their whole lives. Is it purely good genetics, or are they doing something you're not.

I'm doing this. It's a 10 day juice fast.

After I wrote the post this morning, I forced myself out of the house and to the office to get some work done. For an hour or more it felt good to distract myself and lose myself in my work. But eventually I came back to what I was feeling before, and now I don't even feel like I can work.

I'm learning things. While I don't have control over how I will feel when I wake up, that's not necessarily indicative of how I'll feel 10 minutes later.

I'm in a downward spiraling loop, falling farther each swing, and I am having a hard time pulling out of the dive.

It does seem like I spend a lot of my time thinking about food, and not in a healthy way. I spend my time thinking about how hungry I am and what I'd rather be eating than what I happen to be doing right at that moment.  

It's a new year. A new year and a whole new day. Tonight is the first night of the rest of my life. Tonight I looked in the mirror and realized I look quite pregnant. And I'm a man. That's not supposed to happen, is it?

Sure, I'd like to look good with my shirt off, but the truth is, I focus on it way more than it's actually worth to me. I'm realizing more and more that if I want to stay consistent, I need a battery of reasons that I focus on equally. I've spoken in the past about why I began my journey, but I don't think I've ever discussed all of the reasons that keep me going in one place.

In the beginning it was easy. It was fresh, it was new, I was excited about it. The charm has worn off a bit, and now I just want to eat junk food.

What have I been up to in the two days that I neglected to post here? Well, to be perfectly honest, I've been in a bit of a slump. There's quite a story and I think it's a lesson I've learned well. At least I hope I've learned it. We'll see.

Today, here in Cleveland, OH, I was gifted with a white Thanksgiving day, and in that merit, I will take today's post to talk about Thanks, and the things we can be Thankful for.